All articles are presented to stimulate thought and assist Christian families in homeschooling their children. Articles may or may not reflect the opinions and beliefs of the management of HomeschoolChristian.com.
What If Your Husband Is Opposed to Homeschooling?
Homeschooling, like parenting, is difficult, if not impossible, unless both parents agree. So, step one is for the parents to sit down and discuss the objections. Put the kids to bed, or better yet, send them to grandma's for the weekend. Next, each parent should write down pros and cons of homeschooling. Then, open the floor for discussion. Look first for where you agree. Discuss these items, why you agree, and how important these items are to your family.
Now, tackle one of the items of disagreement. Use active listening skills, meaning BE QUIET. Let your husband say his piece, nod understandingly, listen to his issue and try to find out more about why he feels this way. (You can never solve a problem that you can't understand!) Then answer by repeating back what you think he said, and ask if you have it right. Try to see his point of view and find at least one tiny part of what he said that you can agree with. Tell him that you agree with him on that point, and then ask if he would consider looking again at whatever point you feel is MOST important that you disagree on. Continue talking calmly about the subject, and stop if there gets to be any friction involved. (Friction will not ever help, and it may do permanent damage to your chances.)
If your husband has a time-based objection like "I don't want to homeschool until...", be quiet and be satisfied to work towards that time! The first effort at discussing this topic may not yield a "Yes" from your husband, but "Rome wasn't built in a day" and the Lord may have a special lesson in patience waiting for you!
You may not want to hear this, but it's very important to follow your husband's lead. You may have to say, "OK, honey, I'd like it to be different, but you are the head of the family, and I respect your position. Maybe we can talk about this again in the future." If you treat your husband with respect, he is much more likely to re-open the subject at a later time after he has considered some things on his own. But, if you get him annoyed, he sure won't want to re-visit this topic! His mind will be completely turned against it.
Work hard to understand your husband's objections to homeschooling. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Then you'll be better able to address how you could handle whatever is on his mind.
Below is a testimony of a mom who came up with a creative solution to giving her husband the feedback he wanted regarding their children's progress:
My husband actually convinced me to homeschool in the beginning (4 years ago), and we are Army. As a result of being military, husband is gone a lot and does not always to get "see" our homeschooling. I am not a big fan of standardized testing, but what I did is purchase a test that I can administer from Christian Liberty Press (the CAT), for $20. That includes the test and scoring. You can order any time of year and it is the same price. I researched all over to find these. You do not have to have a college degree or be certified or anything. You can just order it. So, I administer the test, and he gets to "see" where we are. It also helps me see if I have any gaps, or we need to review anything. - Michelle, Proud Army Wife
In the end, you should turn the whole situation over to the Lord in prayer. He will work for you if it is His will!
I have an ex-husband who fought me the entire way in regards to homeschooling our daughter. I was so angry that because of him I couldn't homeschool her when I wanted to. After much prayer though I put the entire thing totally in the Lord's hands, I stepped out of His way and "allowed" Him to do the work that He so badly wanted to do in my heart and because of that I am now homeschooling our daughter. Does my ex-husband like it? Not a chance, but God is bigger than him. - Carla
Best wishes to you as you work through this situation. By developing a better understanding of your husband's role as family leader and his point of view, you will bless your family in way's you can only imagine, even if you never get to homeschool.
See other articles about getting started with homeschooing.
