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All articles are presented to stimulate thought and assist Christian families in homeschooling their children. Articles may or may not reflect the opinions and beliefs of the management of

Frequently Asked Questions About Homeschooling


  1. What is homeschooling?
  2. What is education?
  3. How do you get started homeschooling?
  4. What laws apply to homeschooling? Is it legal?
  5. I've got a nosey neighbor and I'm afraid she'll turn me in. What can I do to protect myself?
  6. What about socialization?
  7. Are parents qualified to teach their children?
  8. How much time during the day does it take to homeschool?
  9. What if my husband and I are enthusiastic about homeschooling and our children are less than enthusiastic?
  10. My child goes to school. Can we change to home education?
  11. How much does home education cost?
  12. What if my husband doesn't agree to homeschooling and I want to do it?
  13. Isn't homeschooling just for religious fanatics?
  14. What are the advantages of homeschooling?
  15. What are the disadvantages of homeschooling?
  16. What's the difference between a Christian Education and a Secular Education?
  17. What are homeschool co-ops?
  18. What about testing?
  19. Where do children that are homeschooled make friends?
  20. How do I meet other homeschooling families where I live?
  21. How do you deal with harsh criticism from family and friends about your decision to homeschool?
  22. What do I tell people who say "That's great for you, but I could never do that" or "I just wouldn't have the patience"?
  23. Why do homeschoolers say that homeschooling is a way of life?
  24. How can I be sure of teaching all that needs to be taught?

What is homeschooling?

In looking up the words home and school in Webster's Dictionary this is what I found. "Home" ...a place of security and comfort"....."school"... a place for teaching and learning; a group of persons devoted to the same principles. So now MY definition of "homeschool" ... A place that feels safe and comfortable where people with the same principles AND MORALS teach and learn together. --Lisa C

What is education?

To me, education is learning. It doesn't have to come from schooling. You can learn anywhere, even the grocery store. I learn something new while working on the computer everyday. I am 28-years-old and still getting a good education from the Internet, from the message boards, from cookbooks, from reading. When someone starts a new job, they have to learn it, they are being educated. Education is learning. --Shelly

How do you get started homeschooling?

I first found out about the legalities, The Home School Legal Defense Association has this information on their website ( just click on Homeschool Central. The first two books I read where Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto and Home School: Taking the First Step by Borg Hendrikson. The first one convinced me I should take my kids out of public school and the second book gave me the confidence that I could teach my own kids and how to go about it. Ms. Hendrikson's book gave me the organizational foundation I needed. --Briva

Also, see the following resources:

What laws apply to homeschooling? Is it legal?

Homeschooling is legal in all fifty states, but every state has their own laws, some are very restrictive, and others are very pro-homeschool. We need to be vigilant about being watch-dogs, as some states, like California have questionable laws, leaving a gray area in which to homeschool (In CA, you declare yourself a private school). See our State Information Page for information on laws and support groups, state-by-state.--Mary Leggewie

I've got a nosey neighbor and I'm afraid she'll turn me in. What can I do to protect myself?

We live in a mobile home park and we inform the office, the sheriff and one little ole' 80-year-old woman down the street (who loves our kids) that we homeschool. I feel we are pretty much covered. The 80-year-old lady says she will take care of anyone who tries to pick on us. --Lisa C

Always make sure you have followed the law in your state and then you have nothing to worry about!! In my state, we must maintain a portfolio of the child's work and have him evaluated once per year. As long as that occurs, no one has a complaint against you. If you are concerned (or even paranoid) about this, you should join the HDSLA and you may also want to consider going with an umbrella school. The umbrella school will keep all your records for you and that makes it look like your child is attending private school while he/she is really being homeschooled. --Martha R.

What about socialization?

That is why I homeschool, so my children can be exposed to all ages not just their peers. And anyway didn't your government/private school teacher say to you, "Girls, stop talking, we are not here to socialize!". Precisely my point. --Tammy Montel

I am beginning to hate that "s" word. I think the public school socialization issue has proved itself over and over again with the last one being in Colorado. If you find a homeschool support group that is worthwhile there will be a lot of 'interaction.' Ours does field trips together, meetings, potlucks, 4H, camp outs, sleep-overs. Our kids are also involved in Awana and Church groups. They also go to nursing homes to "socialize with the elderly." They help at the library and socialize with younger kids. They help at our local soup kitchen and socialize with folks who don't have it as good as they do. In looking up "social" in Webster's dictionary I do not see where it says anything about being in the same room with 30+ people the same age for 6+ hours a day. In fact what it does say is "pertaining to society". Well we all live in a society. We don't always deal with people the same age. 'Nuff' said. --Lisa C

You can be as busy as you want to in activities for your children. In fact, it is easy to get SO busy that you will be begging for mercy! --Martha R.

Contrary to what you've been told, a child's social skills, not to mention ethics/morals, are usually damaged by public school. Virtually *all* homeschooled children are significantly better at all manner of social skills (and this is unrelated to religious beliefs of the parents). The worst part of the S word is that you may feel on the defensive. We should be genuinely concerned about how well public school kids will become socialized rather than worry about homeschoolers.--Chuck S.

See the Editorials Page for many articles about socialization, and set your mind at ease!

Are parents qualified to teach their children?

What better person to teach their child than the one who gave birth to their child? The one who knows everything about this child; their strengths, their weaknesses, their gifts, their attitude problems? Tell me now, do you really think a teacher with 28-32 children in a classroom setting can really and truly get to know EACH and EVERY child in his or her care? What about really being able to discern whether each child is catching on in math or reading, very basic, but essential skills, that each and every one of us needs to possess.

Great men and women have been homeschooled and were tremendously gifted and lead our country through perilous times like Thomas Edison, George Washington, Abigail Adams, Abraham Lincoln. Surely if their parents could homeschool with very little education, we have the right and ability to do an excellent job schooling our children.

Let's not partake in a society that expects government to do it all for us. Look at what "samples" they are churning out of the public system lately, "gothens", killer's, rude and illiterate children. I must admit when we first began homeschooling, I was very uncertain of my ability to do the job properly. I ordered all the same material my daughter's former Christian school used, only to find it was not the right curriculum for her to learn from. We have discovered her learning style and chosen our curriculum accordingly. We have also discovered my teaching style and teach according to that as well. We are both very creative, spontaneous people and have found a more relaxed approach on some things is best for us, while a formal curriculum is better for other subjects that I am weak in.

There are so many resources available on this board and other's to steer you in the right direction. Don't allow the government to indoctrinate their "theology" and non-Christian worldview into your child without examining how affordable and worthwhile homeschooling can and will be. Don't let the public school system steal your children right from underneath you. --Cindy O aka Cindy Lou Who

We all have our strengths and weaknesses in both personal characteristics and academics. If you can identify your weakness area, you can ask your spouse or other relative if they can help out in that area. Also, if you are weak in an academic area, you can purchase a more structured program to teach with and you can learn with your kids. I am not musical at all and my oldest child is, so I have bought two programs which start from scratch so that I can learn too! I'm looking forward to the growth in myself. You know your child better than a person who meets him/her this year along with 29 other kids and that makes you qualified to seek out the best way to teach them using whatever materials/methods are most effective.--Martha R.

See Jay L. Wile, Ph.D.'s article entitled Are You Educated Enough to Educate Your Child?

How much time during the day does it take to homeschool?

How much time it takes depends on how much time YOU want it to take. We tend to semi-year round homeschool at 4 hours per day. This does not include the time we spend in museums, forts, art galleries, etc. We start at 9 a.m. and work until noon. One hour off for lunch. One hour more of school in the afternoon. DONE! Because of a husband working swing shift we take his long weekends for the hands on learning stuff and take advantage of those "nobody else in the place" times for museums etc. --Lisa C

There are many factors to consider in answering this question: the ages and number of children, family lifestyle, philosophy of education, extracurricular activities of parents and children, and choice of curriculum, to name a few. When we began homeschooling 1 child for kindergarten 13 years ago, "homeschooling" took 1-2 hours in the morning. Now, with 3 children, 2 of them teens and involved in athletics, music, jobs, ministry, etc., we "homeschool" off and on most of the day! Some curriculum requires more work from the teacher and/or student. Some homeschoolers are structured, with set times for "school"; others are more relaxed, or even "unschool", and learning takes place throughout the day.--Pat Hunter

What if my husband and I are enthusiastic about homeschooling and our children are less than enthusiastic?

I can't say this won't happen, but once they start, they will love it. Most children really like the secure feeling of being at home with mom and/or dad. They love that time with mom and dad. They also like the spare time they have to do other things that interest them. Chances are, it won't happen. --Shelly

I always tell people "Any child can be home educated, but not every parent can home educate". If you are ready to make the commitment to home education then half the battle is won! Children will usually follow mom and dad's lead. If you are excited they will be too. My experience has been that the times my children are cooperative or are not responding well, are the times that I am not holding up my end.

We have discussed our position on home education with our children. Telling them our reasons and convictions for doing this has helped them to understand better. As our children have gotten older they have at times questioned whether or not they could go to "school," but they too come back to "This is what God has called our family to do."

I believe if you are forthright with your convictions and are enthusiastic your dear children will be ready and willing! --Dawn

Here's an article that offers support for parents whose children don't want to be homeschooled.

My child goes to school. Can we change to home education?

We pulled our son out of 3rd grade with only 2 weeks left in the third session. We didn't see any reason to let him stay there suffering in boredom just so he could get another report card. Anybody can homeschool at any time.--Martha R.

My daughter attended a Christian school until the end of 2nd grade and begged us to homeschool her. We began to research the idea and found how healthy it was both for the child and the family to school at home. We also realized how far behind our daughter was even though her grades were always "excellent" on her report card.

We purchased all the same materials the private school had used with our daughter. At first it went well. Then we discovered this just was not the best choice of curriculum to use for our child and we have gradually been switching to what we think she needs in her education.

Realizing her learning style is one of the most important things you can learn about your child. Cynthia Tobias has written several books about this that are worth checking out. There is a scope and sequence available right here on this board for FREE for those who may be interested in following a grade level curriculum.

All in all, yes, the transition can be made. Socialization is the biggest question from most while making this transition. This subject has been covered in depth in one of the previous questions. I will only briefly comment on this. Our children are involved in 4H, church programs, community service project, and astronomy club, we feed the homeless through a shelter, not to mention they have children in our neighborhood they are close with. They also socialize with other children in our homeschool group when we attend homeschool swim time on Fridays, and twice a month skating...There are no shortages of exposure to healthy, God fearing children. --Cindy O aka Cindy Lou Who

See the Beginner Page to get started.

How much does home education cost?

Cost depends on what you have to spend. There are lots of sites on the web to help with homeschooling on a shoestring or you can go with a program like Calvert School which provides everything you need for the year down to the pencils. Even going with the most expensive homeschool program you can find, your cost will STILL be substantially cheaper than either private school or the fancy shoes, latest fashion in clothing, jewelry, Gameboys, trading cards, etc. which are "required" (by peer pressure) to attend public school. --Martha R.

How much do YOU want to spend? We spent $200 one year and found out WE didn't need to. This past year we spent MAYBE $75. Next year will be about that much. Some folks like to buy it all. I like to buy what we will use. --Lisa C

There are so many ways to home educate that giving an exact cost is impossible. I think you can spend a lot or a little and the thing that will matter is your heart. I look at what it would cost, financially, for us to send our children to a private school; then I look at what it would cost, spiritually, to send our children to public schools; then I go somewhere in the middle. Our average has been $200.00+ per year. I know that will increase as our children get older, but I have consistently looked for curriculum that can be re-used and used over several years. We, currently, have four children and to have them all in private school would be close to $400/month. If I was spending that on my home school, boy would I have a nice library! --Dawn

Get more ideas about the cost of homeschooling.

What if my husband doesn't agree to homeschooling and I want to do it?

Certainly this is something to which the entire family has to give prayerful consideration. Disagreement amongst some of the relatives is common, but I think that you must have some amount of buy-in from both parents. Perhaps a trial period might be considered if both parents would be willing.--Martha R.

I'm afraid that the only sure path to success is through knowledge: homeschool yourself and learn where the answers are. His real fears are unlikely to surface and be discussed unless you can easily point to answers and explanations to every question (and avoid being an "authority" while doing it). You should consider spending several months reading books, web pages, and talking to homeschoolers on all aspects of the education crisis and how homeschooling is one solid way out. I recommend Gatto's Dumbing Us Down, Sykes' Dumbing Down Our Kids, Colfax' Homeschooling for Excellence (4 kids, 4 Harvard scholarships), Guterson's Family Matters, Cohen's And What About College?, Bestor's Educational Wastelands, Hirsch's The Schools We Need, McEwan's Angry Parents, Failing Schools, Schackelford's Survivor's Guide to Home Schooling, and Lieberman's Public Education: An Autopsy. Start by learning who the authors are: teachers, some "of the year", school superintendents, etc. In the meantime, look at Hirsch's What Your 'Nth' Grader Needs to Know. K-12 is 13 years long. Take some time to preserve both your marriage's and your child's futures. --Chuck S.

Learn more from this article: What If Your Husband Is Opposed to Homeschooling?

Isn't homeschooling just for religious fanatics?

OK, I admit that the only people I had ever heard of homeschooling were members of "different" religious groups. I had NEVER thought of it for my own family. After all the problems that we had after we moved to a new area (poor academics, peer pressure at lower elementary age, behavior/morals of other kids, drug education programs in the schools), we found that it was the only sensible option for us. Private school for four children would have been cost prohibitive. Anyone can homeschool for any number of reasons. Our initial reason was academic, but I am absolutely thrilled that I have been able to bring prayer back into "school" like it was when I was little and I feel that it is very important that we are all students of the Bible. I now have the opportunity to integrate these into the day, but as the parent and teacher, YOU choose to build in whatever values and beliefs you have! What could be better than that? --Martha R.

Here, I must apologize because my family attends no religious services. Firstly, we homeschool for what you are very unlikely to get in public or private school: significant education quality, socialization and ethical character, and so we can spend more time with our children while they are children. It is a pleasure to be in the company of children.--Chuck S.

What are the advantages of homeschooling?

  1. Preserving their childhoods.
  2. My teens can still play dolls and put on plays and have fun.
  3. Having children whose best friends are their siblings.
  4. More fun learning and more FUN!
  5. All the special time we get with them, not just a few hours a day spent rushing to get to school or tired and grouchy afterwards.
  6. Being able to *really* know my kids, especially my teens... and, of course, enjoying their company, too!
  7. Being able to sleep in the mornings and have cuddle time... no hurry and fights first thing in the morning!
  8. No Ritalin required! Being able to give each of my children the best learning environment for their unique needs!
  9. No bag lunches, cooking something TOGETHER instead.
  10. Taking back my kids from the government.
  11. Learning is a way of life, not just something done at school!
  12. Teaching faith and the precepts of God as a way of life.
  13. Never putting my babies on a big yellow bus! And my kids LOVE their homework!!
  14. Demonstrating that God is Lord over every part of our lives, including education.
  15. I can tailor their education to fit THEIR needs.
  16. We are remaining a true family (vs. adopting them out to the government or private school for the biggest part of the day and them having our home time dictated by homework and projects)
  17. I (the mom) have the opportunity to learn along with them all the things that I missed in government school.
  18. I love being an "over protective" parent by knowing who and what has influence over my children's young minds.
  19. Kids being able to go to Grandpa's and learn how to fix a vehicle!!(auto-shop)
  20. By not spending time de-programming peer pressure and government school propaganda, we have time to be the family God wants us to be.
  21. The joy of seeing "the light come on" when they grasp a new concept, just as exciting as their first steps.
  22. If they don't get an idea the first time, instead of falling behind, they have the luxury of covering it until the material is learned.


See more Benefits of Homeschooling.

What are the disadvantages of homeschooling?

The only disadvantage I can see is the loss of "personal" time, but this is a fallacy of our current society. Parents are supposed to be raising their children and DID raise their children until forced to turn them over to the government school system when compulsory education was forced upon them. If you really search the depths of your heart, you'll see that teaching your children is your responsibility. Remember, they only stay children for a few years, and then they are grown. Seize the moment! You'll have plenty of time for your hobbies and personal time when they are gone.

What's the difference between a Christian Education and a secular education?

Put God FIRST! A Christian Education does not consist of teaching a subject and "adding in God." Public schools today leave God out completely, making the children subconsciously or consciously develop the feeling that God is only for a small segment of their life. Turn God "off" at school, and "on" at home.--Mary Leggewie

What are homeschool co-ops?

One definition is they are usually groups formed by like-minded parents that set aside one day a week for extracurricular activities or academics. A local co-op here has about 15 families. The parents teach about 10 courses offered each semester, the kids pick and choose the ones they want to attend. They have included soccer, arts and crafts, science, weaving, etc. --Briva

We used KONOS Character Curriculum for several years, participating in co-ops some of those years. We never had more than 4 families working together. Once a week we would have a co-op day, doing activities more suited to groups, going on field trips, and providing an "audience" for our students to present reports related to the unit. Most of the time, all the moms would stay for the coop, assisting with activities. It was a lot of fun to work and play together. Many of our most pleasant memories of homeschooling come from co-op days!--Pat Hunter

Read Co-ops: Pros and Cons for more information.

What about testing?

All children have equal readiness for all subjects at the same time." Do you agree with this? If you have more than one child, you can probably attest this isn't true! One of homeschooling's advantages is tailoring curriculum to our child's temperament, learning style and bent. If homeschoolers always agree to standardized testing for the measurements of our children's success, they we are also agreeing to standardized curriculum. When I had to have my child tested in grade 3 as per our states law requirements, we studied for the test. I tailored my curriculum so he could do well. Is this learning? I sure don't want my curriculum driven by government school standards. And is the state responsible for the evaluation of our children? Standardized tests cannot measure individualized curriculum. The measure test-taking skills not thinking skills. One score cannot be used as the sole evaluation for your children Test scores can become the goal rather than the love of learning. Tests don't measure good judgement, creativity, service, cooperation or spiritual growth....all things I hope my homeschool is trying to teach.

If you have options, such as evaluation...where the parent can determine what assessment is required and an evaluator can advise whether testing is necessary...make use of it. If you must test, homeschool friendly tests such as the PASS Test from Hewitt Homeschooling Resources are less stressful, more accurate and give specifics on how to improve not just scores. The PASS is administered in the home, by the parent. It is untimed. And a pretest assigns the student to a testing level(perhaps different for each grade level). The level is closely matched to the real achievement level of the student. And the results are normed two ways, with the national population and the homeschool population. My friend Brynda (who is a certified teacher, homeschooler, and evaluator) used this test and appreciated seeing how one of her daughter compared to both public and homeschool populations. Her percentiles were not as high as when ranked with her HS peers. Brynda felt is was a more accurate assessment of her homeschooling endeavor. (Tammy M. with help from my HS Mentor, Brynda) --Tammy Montel

Where do children that are homeschooled make friends?

Children can make friends everywhere. There are children in your neighborhood you allow your children to play with. There are children in your local scout troops, dancing lessons, and recreation department. And, last but not least there is your church. -- Lynn A

They can make friends at church, in the neighborhood, 4-H, ballet, softball, t-ball, baseball, the park, home schooling support groups, anywhere! Where did you meet your friends? Just because they are home schooled doesn't mean they do not have a life outside the home. They can do just about all the things those in school can do. --Shelly

How do I meet other homeschooling families where I live?

Most homeschoolers aren't out advertising so it may seem difficult to find them at the beginning. Ask around your church and if you don't find any homeschoolers, call some other churches near you and ask if they have any homeschooling families. You will then tap into an amazing network of wonderful people!--Martha R.

One of the best places to find other homeschooling families is the library. Ask the librarian. She can probably tell you who homeschools and what day/or time they come to the library!! Homeschool support groups can usually be found by consulting your state homeschool organizations. Even if you choose not to join the support group, you will have at least connected with other homeschooling families. Some school boards may also provide you with information about other homeschoolers in your area. --Pat Hunter

How do you deal with harsh criticism from family and friends about your decision to homeschool?

Let them voice their opinion, take it as that and leave it as that. I am sure there is something they are doing YOU don't approve of. Maybe it's a good time to bring that up ;) --Lisa C

I have had to develop deep patience in this area. The biggest thing that helped us: When I discovered that there was going to be some serious criticism about our choice to homeschool, I sat down and wrote a newsletter. I cited test scores, various articles on homeschooling, I covered that "s" word (socialization) and discussed our reasons for choosing to homeschool. I put the focus on this being our *choice* and asked that family and friends respect that choice. I really went all out with the first newsletter. I reminded everyone that our children would still be doing school work, still have craft projects, science projects, etc. I included a photo of each child, with a promise to send a new newsletter and photos each year. I also encouraged these people to ask my kids about their school work. (My wonderful kindergarten daughter one-upped me though... at the next family gathering, she was spouting off all about school, and what she learned and how much she liked it, and she stood there reciting her Bible verses and phonics lessons!) I sent copies of the newsletter to all of our family and friends. It hasn't completely solved the problem, but it has helped a lot! --Rochelle C

It is not easy, but you can't let it bother you. Every parent has his/her chance to raise children and we all have to do it in the best way possible. When people (especially relatives) are critical, ask them why they feel that way. If you keep asking them questions in a kind and gentle way, they will soon discover that their objections were probably not well founded. Don't get on the defensive. Just keep smiling and asking gentle questions to get them to clarify their feelings. The best thing you can do is work with your children so they can be the best they can be and let the "proof be in the pudding"!--Martha R.

If they are good friends, then it is good that they question, but they will accept your firmness. Remember, one can choose one's friends. If they are family, then homeschool yourself on the benefits of homeschooling and hope that they are well-enough socialized to accept your answers and conviction. --Chuck S.

Here are more ideas for Answering the Nay-sayers.

Why do homeschoolers say that homeschooling is a way of life?

What is that quote? "You learn something new everyday." In my humble opinion, upon bringing our children into this world, we instinctively begin teaching them. We try to teach them healthy sleeping patterns. How to eat, walk, talk, manners, and last but not least right from wrong. Life IS a learning experience! -- Lynn A

I call it a way of life, because I feel that this is what the Bible teaches us to do. We are to be teachers of the home. We teach our children to walk, talk, go potty, we even teach then the ABC's and 1 2 3's, so why not teach them to read those put together and add those put together? We do it everyday in everything we do. We are always teaching our child something, even if we don't realize it. We just continue that teaching as they get older. --Shelly

How I interpret this statement is that learning does not just take place from 9 to 3. It is listening to French tapes on the way to ballet, blasting "Flight of the Bumblebee" while we clean house, reading a biography aloud before bedtime. It is discussions at the supper table, in which everyone can participate because everyone is learning together. It is the family vacation to Gettysburg (researched beforehand) in June, the book entitled "The Greeks," or "Mysteries and Marvels of Nature" that your child picks up and browses in July, the indian teepee the children build in August. It is having a home in which learning can happen on its own, naturally.

Many parents who do not homeschool live this way already (after school, bus runs, sports). Homeschool is simply the natural extension of what is already in your hearts. This is such a wonderful way to fulfill that desire to instill a love of learning in your children. We encourage you to step into a new world. It may not be so new, after all.

How can I be sure of teaching all that needs to be taught?

You can administer achievement tests at the end of the year for your children to see if they are "on grade level." Just keep in mind that children develop at different rates, so a low score this year might turn into a huge score next, simply because the child has matured. --Martha R.

If this is a question of state requirements, the state will have sample subject area descriptions and example test questions to give you a feel for the areas to be covered. If you are concerned about their future life, don't be. First, look at Hirsch's What Your 'Nth' Grader Needs to Know. Next, remember that your children will not only be more advanced then their "peers" in school, but will be able to teach themselves before they get to college. Be sure to relax and not worry about this. Your own level of education will not matter. At worst, you also will learn new subjects.--Chuck S.

What do I tell people who say "That's great for you, but I could never do that" or "I just wouldn't have the patience"?

Number one: NEVER tell someone who isn't 100% for homeschooling that they could do it if they wanted to...The big thing is to insist that this is your choice and that your choice be respected. Always respect another's desire to not homeschool...

  • You start off with this: True, homeschooling isn't for everybody. It does take time, effort and patience. There was a time when I didn't think that I could do it, but I knew it was the right choice for us.
  • Then move on to this: Well, it's a very personal decision. Homeschooling does take a lot of effort. Not everyone wants to make those sacrifices. We really want to homeschool, so we do what it takes.
  • If that fails, then: Homeschooling is our choice. That doesn't mean it's right for everybody. Yes, it's hard sometimes, that's why I ask for the support and encouragement of our friends and family. That's why I ask for you to respect our decision. For us, homeschool is what we know is right. That means that we do whatever is needed to accomplish that which is right for our family.
  • If you're homeschooling for religious reasons: We have prayed about this and we are convinced that this is what God wants for our family. Who am I to question God? I know that He wont ask anything of me that He hasn't equipped me to do if I just rely on Him.
  • And last but not least, if someone is really antagonistic: Do I critique your life choices? Do I tell you how to raise your children? Please give me the same courtesy and respect. With all due respect: this is our family's choice, no it isn't for everyone, but it is for us! (and then engage in no further argument...people who will carry it that far are just trying to provoke.) ----Rochelle C