Enjoy this Christmas humor shared by our HomeschoolChristian.com message board visitors.
I was casting kids at church for our annual Christmas play, and was giving out choices, such as Shepherd, Lamb, Villager. One 5-year-old couldn't decide, so I said, "Luke, you can be a Villager."
He said, "OK," and ran over to his parents. Very excited, he said to them, "Guess what! I get to be a mini-van!"
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake?
YUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use
MALE: Fake tree, discarded after use
FEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits
REALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur-balls
CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?
YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm
MALE: Bulbs flash logo of football team
FEMALE: Elegant flickering candles
REALITY: Tree bursts into flames, burns house down
CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?
YUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype
MALE: Blonde angel.
FEMALE: Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas
REALITY: Hells Angel's steals the tree and the gifts
CONTROVERSY: Do ya fling or hang tinsel?
YUPPIE: Empower each strand w/self-determining skills
MALE: Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree
FEMALE: Each icicle hangs like strand of delicate artwork
REALITY: More icicles on floor than on tree
CONTROVERSY: Do ya open gifts on Christmas Eve or morning?
YUPPIE: Gifts opened on posted, individual schedules so all enjoy surprise
MALE: Anytime, just so it doesn't interfere with football
FEMALE: Anytime the entire family is present
REALITY: Doesn't matter, everyone's peeked anyway
CONTROVERSY: Ham or Turkey for Christmas Dinner
YUPPIE: Baked Tofu Balls stuffed with wheat germ
MALE: Anything, as long as there's plenty
FEMALE: A meal the entire family plans and prepares
REALITY: Chinese carry-out or McDonald's
There were two goobers (in my area, we call 'em "Aggies") who went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one goober turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
On the first day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 2nd day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 3rd day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 4th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, What about PE? Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 5th day on homeschool, my neighbor said to me, YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 6th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, How long will you homeschool? YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 7th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, Look at what they're missing! How long will you homeschool? YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 8th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, Why do you do this? Look at what they're missing! How long will you homeschool? YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 9th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, I could never do this, Why do you do this? Look at what they're missing! How long will you homeschool? YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 10th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, They'll miss the prom! I could never do this, Why do you do this? Look at what they're missing! How long will you homeschool? YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 11th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, What about graduation? They'll miss the prom! I could never do this, Why do you do this? Look at what they're missing! How long will you homeschool? YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests?Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 12th day of homeschool, my neighbor said to me, Can they go to college? What about graduation? They'll miss the prom! I could never do this! Why do you do this? How long will you homeschool? YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about PE? Do you give them tests? Are they socialized? Can you homeschool le-gal-ly?
On the 13th day of homeschool, I thoughtfully replied, "Colleges love homeschools, we'll have high school transcripts, prom is just a party, you could if you wanted, God wants me to do this, they are missing nothing, I'll homeschool forever, WE ARE NOT STRANGE! We go to the "Y", we do test, they are super kids, and we homeschool le-gal-ly!