Curricula and Learning Links - Character Training
The Faithful Servant Jar
also known as "The Positive Jar"
By Mary Leggewie
I got this idea from a friend of mine who had heard about a "negative jar." It was basically a way of training the family to speak postively. If someone spoke negatively, they had to put a quarter in the negative jar. Well, my friend thought that this was a bad name, and changed it to the POSITIVE jar!!! So we made up a jar for our family. Our friend decorated the jar with bee stickers and wrote "Bee positive!" I used a large plastic pickle jar, cut a coin hole in the top and decorated it with stars.
Instead of using it for our speech, I did it to reinforce good behavior. If Yvette had an unusually good day of school, then she got to put a quarter in the jar (from me). If Yvette reads to her brothers, they ALL get to put a quarter in the jar. If the house is cleaned up without being demanded, and unusually well, they put quarters in. If I see unselfish behavior that is worth rewarding, in goes a quarter. For instance, if I see amazing sharing or courtesy between siblings, the sharer gets a quarter to put in the jar. The main thing is, the quarter rewards behavior that is outstanding, not what is normally expected of them.
I do not hand quarters out all day long. This usually happens only a few times a week, so it's a big deal. The kids pick (together) the goal they want to spend the money on, a family activity like Chuck E Cheese. They picked Disneyland the first time, and that's too big of a goal. Make it more like something that will only cost $10 or $20. We lucked out and got into Disneyland for free (with an employee) so we used the $35 we had saved in the positive jar for spending money. We put a picture or brochure of the goal in the jar.
This worked very well for us, and one of the reasons I like it is that we work towards a FAMILY goal. I'm not bribing one kid to do something for money. And we don't buy more "stuff" (i.e. toys) with it.
