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A Brief Journey Through Ought-to-stan
Brought to you by Guilt Trip Tours
By Pete Storz
Pitfall Tours is offering the homeschooling community the opportunity to visit the lovely country of Ought-to-stan. Our brief tour will visit many must-see locales. We trust you will be so charmed that you may feel that you must visit again and again. Pitfall Tours has miss-served the homeschooling community since 1980, guiding unwary parents into many of the traps and snares to which homeschoolers are susceptible.
At the very beginning of our tour of Ought-to-stan, just as we cross the border, is the interesting but hazardous Would-I-Could-I-Should-I Slough. While it is an interesting sight, and much may be learned there, it is very easy to become bogged down in the Would-I-Could-I-Should-I Slough. It is best to choose decisively what you will do and view this meandering, miry slough at a cautious distance, and with firm resolve regarding your homeschooling adventure.
In the fascinating city of Tight-Time-ville there is so much to see and do, but so little time. You'll wish you could visit every one of the many interesting museums, churches, and historical sites, but you'll have to face the fact that you and your family are only human. There is just much more in Tight-Time-ville than you will have time or energy to see. Choose carefully - the essentials, what interests your family members, and be sure to leave time ... for serendipitous discoveries and for yourself to relax.
Next is the interesting city of Planningrad, with many sights to see, but if you try, you ought to be able to fit it all into your itinerary. If you schedule every hour, choose the right trains and buses, allot time for each stop, and drive yourself and your family hard, you should be able to cover everything. Maybe. Whether you and your family survive is another question. One amazing attraction in Planningrad is the Resource Mall. This mall is huge! And at every turn it seems like you find more and more! You could spend a lot of time here, and you really should. There is just so much neat stuff here! You can worry later about whether you can use all you find at Resource Mall after you buy it.
Just outside of Planningrad, conveniently situated near the Resource Mall, is the Planningrad Textbook Bored-Walk. This is the ultimate homeschooling theme park, with rides and attractions guaranteed to leave your head spinning. You might want to begin your visit by taking a ride on the I-Like-Yours-You-Like-Mine Curriculum Carousel. Then you might go for a whirl on the Perfect-for-my-Child-Anything-Else-Would-Be-a-Disaster Curriculum Roller Coaster, a thrill-a-minute ride that is sure to send your sanity for a loop! Be sure to check out the Phonics-'n'-Reading-'n'-Math Bumper cars and the Workbook Tilt-O-Whirl too. And since the price of admission includes unlimited rides, you could ride your favorites over and over. The most famous, must-not-be-missed, attraction in the Planningrad Textbook Bored-Walk is the Go-Broke Exhibition Hall, with its celebrated Burn-the-Catalogs-and-Buy-Something Refreshment Stands. While Mom and Dad burn their catalogs, budgets, and sanity, they should be sure to send their kiddies off to the Manipulative Madness Funhouse. All in all, Planningrad Textbook Bored-Walk is not for the faint of heart or slender of wallet.
As we leave the vicinity of Planningrad for our next destination, we will traverse the Cover-the-Whole-Book Swamp. This is a fascinating place, and you could spend a lot of time slogging around here. After a while though, things start looking the same, almost boring, though you may still feel that you must not skip a single tree, rock or pool. But don't forget you have to move on to our next stop.
With a charming aspect, the collegiate city of Grindstown is a bustling, busy place. There's always more to learn, and libraries and bookstores abound. The citizens here are so focused on their academic studies that they take little time for fun and relaxation, and don't even notice the lack of parks and places of recreation in their fair city. Will you?
Next we will visit the fair city of Uber Commitsburg, with many wide, busy streets. It presents a strong contrast to Grindstown. Uber Commitsburg offers a wealth of sports activities, community service clubs, choirs and bands, and much, much more. You'll find yourself wondering how Uber Commitsburg's families find time to see each other ... and maybe you'll find yourself drawing your own family a bit closer to you.
The country of Ought-to-stan is a large, busy place, with lots to see and do. You really should pay it a visit.
Special announcement: In response to popular demand from homeschoolers, Pitfall Tour's Exotic and Extreme Adventures division is investigating the possibility of an adventure tour to the fabled, elusive country of Balancia.
Copyright © May 2002, Peter Storz and HomeschoolChristian.com
About the author: Pete Storz grew up in Woodland, CA, near Sacramento. His family attended a Lutheran church, and for grades 1 through 3, Pete attended the private school run by that church, and public schools thereafter. Pete attended a college in Phoenix, AZ, graduating with an Associate's degree. While in Phoenix, Pete worked in a Christian bookstore and tape library, was involved in a ministry that reached out to Jehovah's Witnesses, and ran sound for several local contemporary Christian music bands. Pete moved to "Silicon Valley" to work in electronics and be closer to his parents. He met Becky in 1978 at a church, and they were married in 1980. They have three children, Suzy, Chris, and Katie. Becky first heard of homeschooling on a Focus on the Family program, and about a video seminar by Dr. Raymond Moore that was to be hosted at a nearby church by his daughter. After attending this and a seminar by Gregg Harris, Pete and Becky were encouraged to believe that they could homeschool their children. Remembering that first year or two, when support was crucial but hard to find, Pete and Becky started a support group in 1992 with a special emphasis on fellowship, person-to-person support, and helping new homeschoolers get started. Though Pete and Becky stepped down from leadership after 4 years, SELAH Christian Schools continues to assist homeschoolers in the San Jose, California area. Pete and Becky continue to publish a resource directory for San Jose area homeschoolers as well as other support activities.
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